After waiting around all morning and hearing nothing from anyone, I finally went to work on Wednesday, and like the previous two days, gave Bob strict orders to give me a call as soon as he heard anything at all. I'd keep my phone close by.
Being a hairdresser for 15 years is a blessing and a curse. So many of my clients have been with me for so long and know me well, as I do them. Thus, when I'm asked what our plans are for Christmas, it's hard to lie or to omit information when talking to them, as they're like friends and family. I have told a few clients little bits about what's going on; I don't mention oncologist or anything remotely connected to that. I just say that we're waiting for test results for some mysterious leg pain Bob's been having, and hopefully will have some answers before the holidays. To others, I simply say we don't have a lot of time off for the holidays, now that Bob's working retail hours again, and leave it at that.
I had about ten minutes before my last client of the night was to arrive, when I walked by my phone and saw it light up. Bob's name appeared on caller ID, so I quickly answered it. It was almost six p.m. on December 23rd. My heart sank, thinking Bob's waited all this time, and once again, had heard nothing from anyone.
"Hey. I just got off the phone with Dr. Howe, the oncologist. He apologized for not getting back sooner—didn't have a reason, just said it took longer than expected to get the results back." Bob was talking fast, with a distinct purpose. "Dr. Howe said they just got the results of the biopsy today, and that were consistent with something called sarcoma." Sarcoma. I'm not exactly sure what that is, but cancer immediately popped into my head. I walked into the back entry of the salon, closed the door and sat on the steps. Bob continued, "They're going to send the results of the biopsy to Mayo, for a second opinion. They haven't come right out and said this is cancer, but as I said, Dr. Howe said it's consistent with sarcoma, and that's why they send the results to Mayo, to confirm their findings." A dull throb begins to pound at the base of my head. This is not what I was hoping to hear, but at the same time, I feel a little bit vindicated, that Bob was right, that our persistence is finally paying off.
"So, what do we do now? " I asked.
"I just scheduled an appointment with the neurosurgeon on Monday, the 28th—they just called me this afternoon, too—so we can go over the results of the second MRI. I've started a list of questions to ask, when we go in on Monday. I started looking up sarcoma online, and had to stop. I guess I need a little time to process this, just can't look at that kind of stuff right now." There is a pause on his end. "I'm sorry I got you at work—I was hoping you wouldn't answer, but I know you've been anxious to hear something, so that's why I called." I could feel my throat tighten up. I knew if I said much, I'd start crying. I've only got one more client tonight, I thought. All I have to do is get through this one appointment without crying, then I have all weekend to cry.
"I'm glad you called, and I'm glad I happened to walk by the phone when your call came in. Even though this is absolutely not the news I was hoping to hear." Just one more appointment. One more. I can do this. "At least, now we have a name, now we have some proof that we aren't crazy, huh?" I was getting more and more pissed off, sitting in the dark entry, thinking about the orthopedic surgeon, about Bob's primary doctor, about the neurology clinics, all the people that wouldn't see Bob, or take his situation more seriously. That we had to take drastic measures, take matters into our own hands, to get him in to see people who could finally help him. I can't be like this, it's hindsight, there's no way they could have known, I started repeating to myself. I really can't think like that. It helps no one. At least now we have a name. Knowledge is power. As soon as I said goodbye to Bob and hung up, I Googled sarcoma on my iphone, and read in the dark.
This came from the National Cancer Institute's website:
Sarcomas are malignant (cancerous) tumors that develop in tissues which connect, support, or surround other structures and organs of the body. Muscles, tendons (bands of fiber that connect muscles to bones), fibrous tissues, fat, blood vessels, nerves, and synovial tissues are types of soft tissue. Soft tissue sarcomas are grouped together because they share certain microscopiccharacteristics, have similar symptoms, and are generally treated in similar ways (1). They are usually named for the type of tissue in which they begin.
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