Third verse, same as the first...

Home barely a week, and we're back at the U, Bob's in ICU... God, I thought we had seen the last of this place ... Writing this from my phone, so forgive the typos...And right now, all I can do is sit and write. Either that or sit and wring my hands at his bedside, which I know would drive him nuts...

Bob had been feeling kind of queasy for the past few days, I took his temp, no fever or any other signs of infection, just a constant upset stomach since Christmas eve, would kind of ebb and flow with intensity, though he said it seemed to be going away yesterday...

Last night, however, the nausea came back, became pretty intense; I grabbed a trash can and set it beside Bob, lying on the couch...suddenly, he started heaving and violently throwing up, all blood, so much blood...he said he immediaty felt better and just wanted to ride it out at home, I said that was BLOOD and LOTS of it, no way....quick call to 911, back to Stillwater ER (we'd just been there a week ago, the day Bob was discharged from the U--i don't think i even wrote about this one--we'd literally just walked in the door, suddenly discovered Bob's wound site was bleeding profusely...went to Stillwater ER, as it would have meant a trip back to the U during rush hour, and god knows how many more hours in the U's ER. Serious as shit, don't EVER go to the U for a real, life-threatening emergency, you'll probably die before you're seen...that bleeding incident was controlled by the great staff at Stillwaters ER, and he was discharged with no more issues relating to that...)

Anyhow, back at Stillwater ER last night, where Bob continued to projectile-vomit straight-up blood, over and over...they had a helluva time getting IVs in him, his veins just kind of collapsed from the sheer loss of blood volume...

Eventually got a few IVs in, given fluids, unit of blood started, then transported to the U, as his hemoglobin was dropping, along with his vitals, skin was cold and clammy to the touch, shivering, color was absolutely drained from his face...just when I'm certain I've seen him at his absolute worst...

Called Penny and Jim, they arrived sometime after midnight, don't even know when....my sis, Jill met me at the ICU unit at the U, to be with me till J&P arrived...didn't do much overnight except to keep fluids and blood running...he continued to throw up until after one, then finally started to settle down...now, this morning, Bob's getting a gi scope, to try to determine where the bleeding's coming from, and if it's stopped or needs to be stopped...gi doc seems to think it's something as simple as an ulcer causing all the bleeding, given the heavy-duty blood-thinners Bob's on, which can both cause the ulcer and the non-stop bleeding...

again, a never-ending balancing act that leaves us frantically trying to figure out what to do, what to do...